The best part about being a modern parent with Internet access is how you learn from the mistakes of others, so you can do a better job of raising your children than they have. Just kidding! You only learn from your own mistakes, because you simply won’t credit other parents’ stupidity when they demonstrate ahead of … More Pro Tips for Rookie Parents (Or, How Not To Mess It Up The Way I Did)
Those who already follow this blog will remember that on my return to paid employment after maternity leave, I splurged on a totally awesome automated vacuum cleaner, aka The Robot Slave. The longer I’ve owned this fine piece of machinery, the more similarities I’m seeing between it and my two-year-old daughter. For example: 1. It … More Six ways my robovac is exactly like my toddler.
I have a confession to make. I’m quite intolerant. Not of people, I hasten to add. No, my intolerance is dairy. Cow’s milk. The creamy nectar of the bovine. Well, to be really specific, Baby Girl is the one who’s intolerant. It’s just that I breastfeed her, so her intolerance is my own for the … More Intolerant? Intolerable? Insufferable?
The conversation took place in the car, as all the most interesting conversations do. We drive past a school with a big crucifix lit up on its roof. Boy-Child (5): Hey! It’s a cross. Like what Jesus had! Me: Yup. Boy-Child: Except His was up on a hill. Wasn’t it, Mum? Me: Yes, that’s what … More And my son’s spiritual advisor is…
So, thanks to my very exciting recent experience of being featured on Freshly Pressed, I’ve got a bunch of new followers. Welcome, everyone! I’ll let you know how to dress and behave shortly, please note the rules of Fight Club state that we don’t talk about Fight Club, Kool Aid is over there but don’t … More New here? Read this!
Well, it’s been an eventful week. First, I had the great honour of being featured on Freshly Pressed for this bit of snark, which is probably how most of you came to be reading this right now. (Welcome to my 500 or so new followers! Thanks for joining us. I’m trying hard not to be … More On fractures and fragility: lessons I learned this week.
Originally posted on Mummy Spits the Dummy:
1. Load kids in car. Start car, open garage. 2. Unload kids. Go back inside, change dirty nappy. Repeat step 1. 3. Listen to ‘Hey Jude’ over and over en route to post office, as per four-year-old Boy-Child’s request. 4. Assemble letter-posting supplies: Letters, envelopes, gift card for…
So, I’ve had some problems with my telecommunications at MSTD headquarters this week. In case you weren’t aware, most of my posts are written one-handed on my smartphone while I breastfeed Baby Girl to sleep. (Cue gasps of admiration at my fantastic efficiency and ability to multi-task! Nah, not really, it’s just the only time … More We are experiencing some technical difficulties, please hold.
We saw some new calves on the drive to kindy this morning. Me: Oh, look! The cows have had babies! It must be Spring! Boy-Child: Oh, it definitely is Spring. The sun is shining! Me: Uh-huh. Boy-Child: The birds are tweeting! Me: Sure are. Boy-Child: Our bean plants are growing sprouts! Me: Yup. Boy-Child: The … More Spring is in the air.
‘I love my daddy because he is really hairy. One day I will be as hairy as him!’. I honestly thought that he always just drew Daddy with multiple belly-buttons (because belly-buttons are awesome and Daddy’s the most awesome person he knows). Turns out, that’s been chest hair all along. Happy Fathers Day to the … More The crayon is mightier than the sword: Fathers’ Day edition
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I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.
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