From: New Parent 3.04am To: firstname.lastname@example.org Dear Sir/Madam, The above item from your ‘Bundle of Joy’ range was received into our care recently, and I have some fairly serious concerns I hope you’ll be able to address. First of all, the parcel took six days longer than anticipated to arrive. I realise this can hardly … More Re: ‘Bouncing Baby Boy’ delivery
So, it seems my blog had a visitor today who may have been searching for something I, er, don’t generally provide. Thanks Google! Don’t Google it. No, really. Unless you’re into that kind of thing, in which case there’s a wealth of material out there for you, yay! I’m four pages down, which I guess … More Oh dear. Someone’s going to be disappointed.
We’ve introduced a new parenting regime here this week. 1-2-3 Magic is a novel approach for us, in that it involves the parents being in charge (I know, right? Groundbreaking stuff!), and wielding their almighty power without nagging, raised voices, or cursing the day their offspring was born. Basically, it’s a ‘three strikes’ system by … More Well played, Daddy
I think you may actually need an engineering degree to assemble this toy without having an emotional breakdown at some stage. Of course, the engineering degree would be rendered useless by the constant ‘helping’ of the child involved, so you’d probably suffer a breakdown regardless. … More I hate Thomas the Tank Engine
We saw some new calves on the drive to kindy this morning. Me: Oh, look! The cows have had babies! It must be Spring! Boy-Child: Oh, it definitely is Spring. The sun is shining! Me: Uh-huh. Boy-Child: The birds are tweeting! Me: Sure are. Boy-Child: Our bean plants are growing sprouts! Me: Yup. Boy-Child: The … More Spring is in the air.
‘I love my daddy because he is really hairy. One day I will be as hairy as him!’. I honestly thought that he always just drew Daddy with multiple belly-buttons (because belly-buttons are awesome and Daddy’s the most awesome person he knows). Turns out, that’s been chest hair all along. Happy Fathers Day to the … More The crayon is mightier than the sword: Fathers’ Day edition
I know what you’re thinking. Mums are easy to spot. The bags under the eyes and the presence of juveniles tends to give it away. Well, you’re right of course. But sometimes Mums attempt to travel incognito. You may come across them at the gym, at work, or very occasionally at a shopping centre or … More The Mother, and how to spot her in the wild