New here? Read this!

So, thanks to my very exciting recent experience of being featured on Freshly Pressed, I’ve got a bunch of new followers. Welcome, everyone! I’ll let you know how to dress and behave shortly, please note the rules of Fight Club state that we don’t talk about Fight Club, Kool Aid is over there but don’t drink it until I tell you…

(What do you mean, not those kind of followers?)

Oh. Right. Let’s start over, then.

Welcome to Mummy Spits the Dummy! Thank you for visiting, reading, and commenting – you honestly have no idea how amazed I am that people who DON’T EVEN KNOW ME want to read my ramblings. I started these ramblings because I quit Facebook when it got creepy, and I needed another outlet. I’m rubbish at Twitter, what with the 140 character limit (incompatible with ‘ramblings’, you see). Instagram is for people who are better than me at taking photos and feel more comfortable with pictures of their children going out to the unknown world. Reddit is confusing to me, LinkedIn is quite formal, Google+ seems nice but also kind of a lonely wasteland. Pretty sure nobody would have me at Pinterest, given my culinary and crafting ability (or lack of ability as the case may be). So I started writing here, just under a year ago. At first I was just sharing funny stories about my family and my inadequate life skills, like these:

Fun with kids: posting mail.

The teppanyaki incident (which happens to be my Mum’s favourite. Thanks Mum).

That time I tried (and failed) to ‘grab a coffee’ like a normal person

But then I realised I had my very own soapbox/high horse, so started occasionally clambering aboard and spouting opinionated rants. It seems you guys like rants, based on how many of you enjoyed my ‘breastfeeding in public’ outburst. If that’s the case, you may also like these:

Why I’m sour on Similac’s so-called sisterhood

Heroic dad delivers baby. Mother was probably also there but we can’t be sure.

If you really support breastfeeding – keep your big ‘but’ to yourself

Or, if your taste runs more towards gentle self-mockery and joke parenting articles:

I was once a paragon of parenting. Then I had kids and ruined it.

Re: ‘Bouncing Baby Boy’ delivery

Ten reasons why a sensible person would buy a dog instead of having a baby.

And just so you know, for reasons I can’t quite fathom, my most popular post to date remains this extremely silly one:

Hungover with kids (Or, Please Please Just Kill Me Now).

So, welcome! Take a look around. Please tell me what you think, contribute to the discussion, leave your mark. It means the world to me as a writer (there, I said it) and as a person to have you along.

Oh, and one more thing. Because I’m not on Facebook anymore, I don’t have a direct conduit into that goldmine of potential readers – except via YOU. If you like something I’ve written, please PLEASE share it with your friends. (If you hate it, share it with your enemies!) You are my social network moles, each and every one of you!! Now go forth, my minions, and share the love!

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