And my son’s spiritual advisor is…

The conversation took place in the car, as all the most interesting conversations do. We drive past a school with a big crucifix lit up on its roof.

Boy-Child (5): Hey! It’s a cross. Like what Jesus had!

Me: Yup.

Boy-Child: Except His was up on a hill. Wasn’t it, Mum?

Me: Yes, that’s what I’m told.

Boy-Child: And then He died up on the hill. He DIED so that we all could LIVE. And then, He came back to life and after that he made GOD.

Me: Um…

Boy-Child: He did! No, wait. God made us. So He must have been there already. Who made God, Mum? And how is Jesus his Dad?

Me: I really don’t know the right answer to that, mate. But I’m pretty sure the story goes the other way around, and God was Jesus’ Dad.

Boy-Child: (not listening anyway) I think God must have made His own self. Did you know, He is everywhere? Because He’s like dust, or gas in the air or something. He’s RIGHT HERE BESIDE YOU NOW! Know how I can tell? Because you’re alive. If you want to be alive, you need God. No God? No living.

Me: I’m not sure that’s exactly how it works, sweetie.

Boy-Child: What do you mean, you’re not sure?

Me: I mean, nobody really knows the answers to all of this stuff. There are lots of stories, and lots of people think different things about where we came from and what happens when we die, but even if we believe something we can’t ever really be sure that we know the answers.

Boy-Child: (sagely) Ahh. That’s what YOU think.

Me: Excuse me?

Boy-Child: You say nobody knows for sure, but there are some Wise Ones that do!

Me: Wise Ones? Really? Like who? (Fully expecting him to tell me ‘Sister Veronica’, or ‘Nan’, or ‘The Pope’)

Boy-Child: Like Santa, silly!

“And what would you like from Santa this year, kids?”
“Oo! Oo! Answers to our existential dilemmas please, Wise One!”

Yes, it turns out Santa is ‘wise’ because he is old and he has a beard he can stroke. Wise people always have beards and stroke them when they think. Hence Pop is wise, his uncles are sometimes wise and sometimes not, and of course all wizards are wise (which may be true, but I would argue not because of the beards). This segued into an interesting discussion about wisdom vs cleverness, and the paradox he’s stuck with because despite my theological shortcomings he thinks I’m wise – but I’m not old (ahem) and I have no beard (left unchecked I’d have a respectable ‘tache though).

8 thoughts on “And my son’s spiritual advisor is…

  1. Hahaha I love this. Definitely busted out laughing a couple times. Kids are so funny and so innocent. I wish my mind still worked that way. Can’t wait until my little one gets to be that age, I’ll have plenty of things to write about!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha. The fact that the school is directly across the road from our house mitigates the regret significantly. You just can’t buy that kind of convenience (well, I guess you can, and we have… um, I really don’t know where I was going with this…)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyed your smooth handling and no displays of discomfiture O Wise One! Have a lovely time up at Cow Nan’s Love you Mum


  3. The difference between knowledge and wisdom
    Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit not a vegetable!
    Wisdom is not putting it in the fruit salad!

    I had the whole religion chat with my son a few years back when he came home telling me all about how Jesus had saved him (not us, just him) it was awkward as I aint religious, my wife is Christian (religion not name as Christian would be a silly name for my wife!) thankfully she isn’t a crazy nut job devout believer. The conversation ended with me basically asking him if he could come back in a few years when he had formed a logic centre. Needless to say at the age of 10 he is very logical so the conversation is easier, his sister is 5 so I have to do it all over again now!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Unfortunately just like the movies, the script is fiction some of it is even good fiction. And to be fair CGI and special effects have caught up with the stories now so Hollywood can do them justice lol

        Liked by 1 person

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