A ‘horrific’ misunderstanding.

Ext: In a moving car. A child’s voice pipes up from the back seat.

Boy-Child (5): I’m pretty brave, hey Mum?

Me: (Pause briefly from singing Wiggles medley) Oh, yes. Very!

5: Because I’ve watched some scary shows on TV and didn’t even cry.

Me: Mmm? You mean like Scooby-Doo, with the spooks and so on?

5: No! I mean really scary shows. Like the movie Daddy let me watch while you were out.

image
Mmm-hmm? Look out, Daddy-o. Mum's classification board is coming down hard when we get home.

Me: (Paying proper attention now and mentally preparing to tear strips off husband later on) I see. What scary show did you watch with Daddy? Can you remember what happened?

5: Yeah! It was the one with this guy, and he was at the restaurant eating popcorn with his wife. Or maybe his girlfriend. Anyway, he was there with his woman…

Me: ‘His woman’?? Seriously?

5: (oblivious)… and when the moon got as high as it goes, he changed into a wolf and she got really scared. But it was okay, because he wasn’t a bad wolf and he turned back into a man again. And then, when they were walking home she was still a bit frightened, then there were ZOMBIES! They all came out of the graveyard and the trash cans looking for brains.

Me: (Horrified) Okayyyy. How much of this movie did Daddy let you watch?

5: All of it! It wasn’t very long. Anyway, the zombies were looking for brains and the man was a zombie too then, and they all had to do the zombie dance or else they’d get eaten. It was awesome.

Me: Wait. What? There’s a zombie dance?

5: Yeah! They all lined up and danced in the street. That was the best part. It wasn’t even scary to me.

Me: (Gears turning, puzzle pieces aligning) Hold on. Was this a very very short movie with super-awesome music?

5: YES. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I can’t remember the music, but it was very good for zombies to dance to.

Me: (Hums first few bars of Thriller)

5: THAT’S IT!! That’s the movie Daddy showed me! How did you know?

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The zombie dance. Of course!

So, no need for alarm. Daddy was just broadening his musical horizons. With a completely age-inappropriate video clip, but I can forgive him that for the sake of seeing my son attempt the ‘zombie dance’ when we got home.


7 thoughts on “A ‘horrific’ misunderstanding.

  1. Oh my godfathers, your little guy is totally squishable. What an endearingly sweet and funny story. Totally worthy of sharing. Glad you did so.
    And now to discover what next lies up your husbands artistic sleeves …

    Liked by 1 person

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