Your arguments against breastfeeding in public. They are invalid.

Posted on by mummyspitsthedummy

I’m sorry, everyone. I never intended for this to be a breastfeeding advocacy blog, but – y’know. Boobs and their baggage are things that predominate my life at the moment, so…

You’ve probably read about Cheese & Biscuits cafe in Rockhampton, who kicked a massive goal for breastfeeding mothers this week by politely ejecting a customer who was frightened by the sight of a lactating breast in their courtyard. He’d already complained to management, who’d informed him they were a breastfeeding friendly establishment and that they would under no circumstances ask a nursing mother to cover up or leave. He then took it upon himself to approach her, leaving her visibly upset when the owner came out to deliver his coffee. When apprised of the situation, the owner swiftly transferred the man’s coffee to a takeaway cup and showed him the door. She later posted about the incident on Facebook: Capture14

The post went viral, was picked up by local then national and international media and at last count their business page had over 5000 ‘likes’ and hundreds of five-star reviews from all over the world. Not bad for a small cafe in a regional city. I’ve seen it suggested that this was just a really well-executed viral marketing campaign, which I guess is totally plausible – but given that nobody was hurt, they’ve publicly affirmed their nursing-friendly stance and there’s been a huge groundswell of online support for mothers who breastfeed in public, I say ‘bravo!’ anyway! Reading the article online warmed the cockles of my, er, bosom.

But then… oh, then. I scrolled down. I broke my rule. I read the comments underneath the article. And while the overwhelming majority of them are positive, supportive, and lovely (and at least a million of the bajillion supportive comments are from MEN, hooray!), a small but ugly minority are foul. And so, because I am a complete masochist, I have trawled the grimy depths of the comments section for the most ill-informed, grotesque and idiotic arguments against breastfeeding in public. I give you them here, along with my retorts. If you are of a delicate disposition, you may wish to avert your eyes:

1. TheΒ I was fed poo and wee as a baby! argument: Capture8 Aviary Photo_130777194779944941 Capture10

These poor folk are confused. They seem to believe that the observation that ‘breastfeeding is natural’ implies that all natural things are acceptable in public. Let me make it very easy to understand.

Urination = expelling waste. Illegal in public. Smelly.

Defecation = expelling waste. Spreads disease. Illegal in public. Kind of gross.

Spitting = expelling waste. Spreads disease. Usually unnecessary. Illegal in public. Very gross.

Nose-picking = a dirty habit. Spreads disease. Not illegal in public, but not well-tolerated in offenders over the age of five.

Masturbation = a sexual activity. Illegal in public.

Breastfeeding = giving a small child food and comfort. Provides protection to infants against disease. Recommended as exclusive food for babies under six months of age, according to peak health bodies. Not only legal, but protected by law.

So, unless your argument is that urination in public is natural AND provides the ideal food for someone in your care (ewww), we are talking about two completely different, equally natural things. So hush your dirty mouth, please.

2. The This is discrimination against teh menz!! fallacy: Aviary Photo_130777196119103834

OK, clearly this fellow is a bit of a loony who may be unfamiliar with the concept of ‘male privilege’, but let’s humour him for a minute. If anyone complains, they are the bad guy. Male or female. Old mate is more than welcome to go to ADCQ, where I’m sure he would be educated about the section of anti-discrimination law that protects the right of babies (both male and female babies, incidentally) to be breastfed without impediment anywhere they have a legal right to be. I doubt his own claim of discrimination/harassment would hold water. He’d probably just end up embarrassed at his own behaviour all over again.

3. The weird, pervy argument that reminds us our boobs don’t actually belong to the baby. Or to ourselves: Capture15 Capture9

Yes, us exhibitionist mothers. We’re known for our rabid urges to expose ourselves for our own (and your) sexual gratification. Because we’re certainly not tired, or sore, or distracted by the responsibility of attending to the myriad needs of a tiny baby that we’re quite possibly still learning how to keep alive. I was totally up for a bit of casual flirting with strange men when I dragged myself to town in the early postpartum days. And we certainly wouldn’t hold a man accountable if he assumed we were being provocative by feeding our infants and subsequently raped us (victim-blame, a whole other argument in itself). Or if he raped some random woman he passed on the way home, given he’d been worked into such a lather, based on how ‘MM of NSW’ believes the system works.

Seriously. I’m sure some strange people are indeed turned on by breastfeeding, possibly because it’s the only glimpse of breast tissue they’ve ever had up close, or because they are confused and completely blank out on the fact there is a BABY there. By the same token, I also know that some people are turned on by feet. Does that mean I shouldn’t ever wear sandals to a cafe, in case I provoke a foot-fetishist into depraved lust? What about Plushies? Should I forbid my children from taking their stuffed animals out in public, in case Monkey or Miss Rabbit have an undesired effect on someone who finds them unusually attractive? Please. Take responsibility for your own reactions, no matter how hot under the collar you get. If you can’t keep yourself on a leash, maybe consider covering your face with a light shawl or moving to a quieter area.

4. Think of the CHILDREN!!

Capture7

How awful! Imagine, if children got the idea that boobs were intended for feeding babies, instead of thinking they’re for selling things! What would be going through a poor child’s mind? I’d hazard a guess it would be along the lines of ‘Cute baby. Wonder if I can get close enough to sneeze in its face once it’s finished drinking?’.

Or, if the child isn’t familiar with breastfeeding, experience tells me they’ll simply march up to the mother and ASK:

Kid: Why is your baby doing that?

Me: She’s having a feed. She drinks milk that I make for her in my body.

Kid: Oh. Why doesn’t she drink it from a bottle?

Me: Because it’s easier for me this way, and I get to give her a cuddle at the same time.

Kid: Cool. Does she like bacon too? I like bacon. *Sneezes on baby*

Which leads us to…

5. The completely misguided personal hygiene argument:

Capture12 Capture13

Wait, what? So, there’s dangerous airborne bacteria that can enter my baby’s lungs, right? But I only need to worry about those while she’s feeding? Or do I need to have a hankie covering her mouth and nose at all times while we’re in public? Because I really don’t know if she’ll be down with that…

Or are you worried about my breastmilk somehow spurting across the room and landing in your coffee, poisoning you? Pooling on the floor beneath my seat, creating a slip hazard? Let me assure you, it’s fairly unlikely. My goal is generally to get most of it into my kid’s mouth. It’s probably more likely everyone will be subjected to a bit of baby spew at some stage, but that’s going to happen regardless of the feeding method.

Maybe you guys are confusing breast- and bottle-feeding. There’s lots of sterilisation and so on involved in feeding a baby out of a bottle, which is one of the many factors that makes breastfeeding the right choice for me: always on hand, always sterile, always the right temperature and quantity. And all those immunity-boosting antibodies will, I’m sure, offset the risk of her inhaling any airborne diseases should her hankie slip.

6. The It wasn’t acceptable in the old days, you need to respect your elders mistruth:

Aviary Photo_130777194419254813

Really? Are you sure?

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Everyone looks pretty scandalised, don’t they? Clearly, mothers didn’t feed uncovered in ‘the old days’.

In any case, no. Even if things were different in his day and he was embarrassed, he had the option of accepting the seat that was offered to him inside when he first complained to the staff. Depending on how old he was, in his day Aboriginal people may still have been classified as ‘fauna’ under Australian law and denied access to many facilities. Does that mean he has the right to object to an Indigenous guy ordering a coffee and sitting at the table beside his today? Nope, nope, nopity nope. Some change is for the better, especially when the principles have been enshrined in the law. Sorry, not sorry.

7. The I can’t see what’s happening right in front of me dummy spit:

Aviary Photo_130777195367256061

Yes… they’re clearly leaving in droves.

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As you say: ‘Oh well’… I’m sure the proprietors won’t miss one or two customers now. Chances are they wouldn’t welcome your business anyway. But remember, there’s no guarantee if you go elsewhere that some other mother isn’t planning to ruin your day with her tits:

Image credits: Breastfeeding at Chattanooga Bus Stop 1943 via thederangedhousewife.com

Breastfeeding at an Outdoor Meeting via buzzfeed.com – I couldn’t find the original source, please let me know if you can.

Flawed arguments against NIP courtesy of visitors to The Brisbane Times, The Morning Bulletin, news.com.au and Cheese & Biscuits’ Facebook page.

‘Ruin Your Day’ is by Sparrow Folk and will do the opposite when you listen to it!

So, it seems this post is going to be receiving a lot more attention than I’m used to, sometime in the next few days! Thanks for reading. If you have a comment, please leave it below – I’d love to hear from you. Comments will be moderated so may not appear immediately – but I’ll happily publish any comment that isn’t obscene, abusive or obviously spam. (Yes, even if you disagree with me!).

If your comment starts with ‘I’m all for breastfeeding, but…’, please read this post before you proceed.

If you imagine my staunch support of breastfeeding means I look down on parents who bottle-feed, please read this post and think again.

You can find out more about me (and how this very amateur blog came to be) here.

351 thoughts on “Your arguments against breastfeeding in public. They are invalid.”

  4. Very smat take on this. I so wish my daughter would have latched on because I would have whipped my baby feeders out everywhere.I feel as though I missed out on this experience.

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  6. You have absolutely missed the point and are completely blind to why breastfeeding in public is so wrong! The answer is as basic as can be. Breastfeeding in public is simply immodest! Just as public urinating, defecating, nose-picking and spitting are immodest, so is breastfeeding. So what if you are using your boob to feed a baby, exposing it publicly is still immodest. It is meant to be done privately just the same way boobs are meant to be covered when out in public! If a person is practising immodesty and they actually have deceived themselves into thinking they’re okay, then the word BRAZEN applies to that person. Modest is good. Brazen is bad. Good things are kept. Bad things are thrown away. Please stop.

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    1. Stop feeding my baby? Sorry. No. Stop going out in public? Also, no. I really thought I made the difference between breastfeeding and all those other acts quite clear.

      On modesty, let’s recall that it used to be considered immodest to show one’s ankles in public. Times change. I guess there’s just no explaining some things to some people though.

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      1. Lol, immodest. Next time I go out I’ll be sure to wear my long gloves and floor length gown…and head scarf, to cover my tantalizing locks…and probably a veil, I have terribly immodest cheek bones.

        Liked by 3 people

  10. Pingback: Breastfeeding | Jaakko Saari

  11. Woman’s breasts are a sacred source of life on earth. (and they are also remarkably beautiful!)
    Of course and absolutely breastfeeding must be allowed anywhere and everywhere.

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  12. I think that every people rights ends were other people rights star, momys has the right to feed theirs babys in public, baby need it, thats ok, but think about the rest of the people that do not think in the same way, we can not being just ignoring the rest of the world, we live in communities and we have to deal with it, we have to make our best trying to live in peace with all the people. if i have to feed my baby and im a reasonable person i’ll decide to cover myself, first because i want to respect others, and second I dont know what kind of people is around looking having bad ideas with my bob. So come on lets be honest ladys, we need to respect us and respect the rest of the people by covering during we are feeding a baby. I Promese you that a teenager with a mother feeding its little brother in public with everyone looking will be super embarrased about that, no matter how educated about that is the family.. Showing our privates parts in public is embarrasing ALWAYS no matter the situation. ( is just my personal opinion)

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    1. I appreciate you sharing your opinion. My opinion is that breasts are in no way sexual or ‘private’ when they’re being used to feed a baby. If we all cover ourselves while breastfeeding (which is easier said than done, by the way. Many babies hate it. Would you like to eat with a blanket over your face?), we perpetuate the idea that feeding our babies in this way is somehow shameful and needs to be hidden. In terms of visible flesh, most women show less skin while breastfeeding than they would in a low-cut dress, what with the baby’s head covering most of their boob.

      Also, I promise you that a teenager will probably be super embarrassed by his parents in public no matter what they’re doing – no point trying to change that! πŸ˜‰

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  14. Jenia and I travel the world with our little one. She’s breastfed all over creation, and I’d say most of the time people didn’t even know she was feeding. I’d say most women are able to do it without flashing anyone–but, on the off chance that the infant did unlatch and hang his head out to take a nice deep breath, then maybe someone caught a glimpse of the mammary being used as it’s meant to be. And as Jenia says, if they’re looking long enough to be offended, then they’re looking too long. I love your comment about children thinking breasts are made for feeding babies, not selling things! Wonderful!

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Love your wife’s point about ‘them’ looking too long if they’re offended! I truly hope enough kids can see breastfeeding normalised to the point that their generation has a much healthier view.

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  18. Everything seems so skewed when Kadarshian-type celebrities can walk into a room baring butt and bosom … and I bet you people ogle rather than object. Yet let a mother bare her breast to feed her baby and the wolves are howling at the door.

    I did a bit of reading up on this issue after reading your post and amongst many for and against articles came across two news items that made headlines and had me smiling and cheering. Here’s one great endorsement for you .. πŸ™‚

    In December last year Pope Francis expressed his support of public breast-feeding in December 2013 during an interview with La Stampa, in which he said:

    There was a young mother behind one of the barriers with a baby that was just a few months old. The child was crying its eyes out as I came past. The mother was caressing it. I said to her: Madam, I think the child’s hungry. β€œYes, it’s probably time…” she replied. β€œPlease give it something to eat!” I said. She was shy and didn’t want to breast-feed in public, while the Pope was passing. I wish to say the same to humanity: Give people something to eat!

    And in January this year Pope Francis he told a group of mothers not to worry if they had to feed their babies during a baptism ceremony at the Sistine Chapel!! In front of the Pope and in that holy of holies !!!

    This is a man after my own heart … a true man of compassion, humanity at its finest; Indeed a Pope for our times.

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    1. It surprises me too, honestly. I’ve never had an issue in my four years combined of breastfeeding so far. There’s something about the Internet that brings opinions to the fore, I think! People who’d only give an eyeroll in person will let rip behind the safety of a keyboard πŸ˜‰

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  24. I always wonder why my female friends feel strange breast feeding in public. In the end it is natural, everyone who feels offended maybe should think about why they feel it is offending (I’d have some ideas on why but I will keep them to myself… better that way) If I one day would be lucky enough to become a mother I would not care about what strangers think about me breastfeeding. As said natural. And even in modern days, we have boobs everywhere, on TV, in magazines, on advertizing posters and so on. THEY ARE ONLY BOOBS. Oh and congrats on being FP!

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  27. Lol, I don’t have any kids yet but I’ve worked with a lot of young mothers who get confused and often hurt by all the anti-public-breast feeding trolls out there. It’s sad when people have to sexualize or sully something as natural and beautiful as breast feeding. I guess they rather the baby go hungry than to have to suffer through the sight of a boob in public.

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    1. It upsets me to think that worrying about what strangers will think could be what stops a mother from breastfeeding at all. It’s tricky enough to get everything working right at first, without feeling like you’re doing something rude or offensive on top of that. 😦

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  29. Thank you. I just had to walk away from an argument with a man who kept conflating urination with food production. The inability to differentiate between the two is pretty much a conversation ender. And this idea that someone’s right to be an ignorant twunt trumps my right to feed my baby in the simplest, fastest, safest way possible…well that’s just narcissism.

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  32. I loved this post! You combined evidence with a perfect balance of satire, making your argument practically flawless, and proving a point that really isn’t stressed enough. I was shocked by some of the comments- how can one possibly think that it is copulation and breast feeding are even remotely similar? Or the man talking about the “lopsided society” and the “men’s rights problem”? Not only is this invalid, but it proves how some people just want more and more, no matter what they must do to get it- even taking rights from a baby! And the older gentlemen argument-classic! If only they knew breasfeeding in public used to be MORE common than it is now. Thank you so much for writing this, and I hope you continue to fight for what you believe in!
    (p.s.: ignore the idiot comments. They have less than an idea of what they are talking about!)
    -Giodessa Qill

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  38. Bahahaha! This is perfect πŸ˜‚ what an excellent post, on a more serious note…people can be extremely anti-feeding-your-own-offspring that is now getting to concerning levels of ridiculousness πŸ˜•

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  42. Good argument on that topic. I surely believe different city has different culture. My suggestion is to understand the culture or the habit of one city. Perhaps breastfeeding in public in one city can bring unpleasant effect for other people.

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    1. Certainly I would always take that into account – along with the various cultural rules about when it’s polite to wear shoes/singlets/shorts. I also take the stance that, in my own locale, we have the freedom/responsibility to back up the law with cultural change. So I’ll always breastfeed in public here if my child needs it, and will always support others to do the same.

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  45. No problem with a baby being fed his or her meal in public πŸ™‚ A while ago. Break time at work I walk across the road to the newsagent right past a posh restaurant and it caught my eye this woman at a table outside in the sun was breastfeeding her baby, so I did a double take like you do because it’s something you don’t see every day and thought that’s cute then carried on to buy me sandwich…….. am I allowed to say it was kinda cute and made me smile?

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    1. Of course! Assuming you mean ‘cute’ as in ‘adorable’, not ‘cute’ as in ‘sexy’, right? Wish that seeing a baby breastfeeding didn’t warrant a double-take (is it really that uncommon?), but good on you for recognising it for what it is: a kid having a meal! Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

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      1. Yes cute as in adorable πŸ™‚ and yes I did look twice out of surprise because the only breastfeeding in public I’ve seen in years is my sister-in-law, I really can’t remember seeing another mum. Why I have absolutely no idea because it’s well keeping something alive but then again when men confuse feeding a child with ‘immodesty’ then I guess that’s the answer!

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  47. Great post. I breastfed my second daughter. I didn’t often do it in public unless I really needed to and when I did I was very discreet. The one that I couldn’t understand was my mother in law. She used to banish me into a bedroom (well that’s how it felt) and even my husband disagreed with her. When she was at our house she was the one that would have to move room, seems only fair.

    A friend of mine whos son was the same age as my daughter came to visit. She turned to my husband and asked if it was ok to breastfeed. He said of course no problem, what he wasn’t happy about or comfortable with was the fact she whipped them both out (as he put it) he could leave the room fast enough. He asked me to have a word with her which I did.

    Unfortunately you are going to get the stigma. Its not the same as going to the loo in public. Thats just a stupid comparison made by idiots. Feeding a baby is completely different for crying out loud.

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